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i want a job in pediatrics. i want a job in an intensive care unit (icu) if possible. i definitely want to work in the city just because of the experience and pay/benefits. some people are so rude in human resources. you'd think they would be kiss asses to make their employment seem top notch but no.

thank God for youtube. i can't d/l music b/c this computer is SO old. i'm addicted to Rihanna's - Disturbia b/c of my cousin.

i'm still very proud of myself for passing the boards. =) lol

i wanted to go to the gym today but i fell asleep in the afternoon. when i woke up i had really bad cramps and found out i had my period so i skipped out. hopefully tomorrow i'll be up for it. i was craving a brownie bowl so bad but since my cousin couldn't go i went to the grocery store and bought betty crocker's microwavable chocolate cake, bought vanilla ice cream and whipped cream--it wasn't that great but better than nothing. haha =)

 
 
 
 
 
 
this is a good website for new nurses: http://www.realityrn.com 
 
 
 
 
 
 

today was extremely boring. i saw Hancock (by myself) and it was really good. I love when these action movies have a story line that is interesting. Then I came home watched the Real World reunion. This season was okay but kinda whack since cast members left and the 2 members were there for a short time. I liked how Janelle from Key West told off Will for playin her. She really let him have it and he had nothing to say. 

So of course, now that I passed my boards, my parents are really on me about meeting guys. I get so angry when they ask me for my e-mail address. I don't want to get married. I want to be in a relationship. All these fools just want to get married. Well I found out today one wanted "to fuck because she has big tits" yep! i kid you not.  besides the fact i don't have big boobs i'm pretty pissed about the comment and it just got me really thinking about this. this whole approach to meeting a guy is getting ridiculous. i hate it. i don't want to do this. i just want to be left alone. at the same time i don't know how else i'm going to meet a malayalee christian guy. *sigh* it fucking sucks. whatever. i don't want to dwell on this and get upset.

i applied to CHOP and St. Chris (both pediatric hospitals in philly) in ICU's. i hope i get a call back. they have positions open. On Mon i'll go to temple univ hospital and apply in person since no one gets back to you over the internet, i also need to go to u penn. 

i'm mad because my mom is making me write my brother and sister in law's thank you notes from their wedding last year. my sis in law did 60 or so. because i'm the only currently not doing anything they are trying to put it all on me. it pisses me off that they're doing that. they invited over 850 people. i wouldn't mind helping out if everyone agreed to split it. i'll do some but they'll be damn out their mind if they think i'm gonna do even half. yeah i'm a bitch...but only because you're being unfair.

 
 
 
 
 
 
So I took my exam on July 3. Worst mistake ever. I heard that you would know by Tues if whether or not you would get your license. The delay was because of July 4. The day I took the exam I was not feeling too confident. I was unsure of myself. The questions were hard. They did not feel like kaplan questions. The strategies did NOT apply. It shut off at 100 questions (mininmum is 75 questions, maximum is 265.) For the computer to shut off at 100 questions means I did rather well or rather bad and I was VERYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY upset when my computer shut off. There was not even one question that I felt I answered 100% correctly. Most questions seemed like they had 2 answers (as always.) The last 48 hours I've been telling myself to not get upset if I didn't pass and there's no point in getting so upset. Yes I know I tried my hardest, took Kaplan, reviewed like crazy but it's not like i know everything there is to know so i can still study more. But even then i didn't know how much more i could do. Well this morning i woke up and put my name in and viola--my name came up with my license #! That was a total shock! I thought since I didn't see my name yesterday that i failed. I ran downstairs and told my mom. She was crying with happy tears. I was sorta jumping up & down. My mom said she couldn't sleep last night and kept praying so hard. She kept saying she didn't know anyone who worked as hard as I did and what more I could have done. It was all very sweet. (Then she told me i need to learn how to cook and clean. haha. that's my mom.) But yeah--I have to say I really do think it's my mother's prayers that God answered. Not that I didn't pray but my prayers were more like please, i hope, please let me pass. And i didn't have much confidence even then which is bad. When a mother prays it seems so much more faithful and stronger for some reason. Anyway, I'm on cloud 9 right now. I went to Chick-Fila-A and got a kid's meal and oreo cookie milkshake. I also went to see SATC again--it made me cry again! haha. Yeah, so next week I am going in person and applying for jobs. =)!!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I am NO LONGER  a student. I'm finally starting a NEW CHAPTER in my life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  OH and the best feeling of all? That I passed it the 1st time around :o)!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
it's sat night. blah. i was super excited that my dress from greatglam.com came in. i talked about it in this http://bencess.livejournal.com/215390.html

it fits really good. i'm glad i went with a medium. it's not as short as the website made it seem? i think if i got a small it would have fit a lil better but i prefer it to be a bit longer so i'm glad i got the medium. it hides my love handles. haha. a size 7 online is way different than in real life. it's bigger. i'll be taking a mini vacaction to some beach during the 2nd week of august., don't know where exactly. 

today was pretty bland. i went to the gym for a lil bit, first time in quite a while. i was on the elliptical for 30 min. then i rented a movie and watched the nanny diaries. it was ok. something i can relate--someone trying to find out who they are and ends up defining herself through her job. mmm, then i watched the offlce on nbc.com. that was funny. i really like that show. then i went to dinner at olive garden with my cousin. i got the grilled chicken caesar salad. it's really good. i also had a breadsticks. i well not much else to say. i'll probably be drifting off to la la land soon. g'nite.
 
 
 
 
 
 
So today I took my last practice exam. I had 6 hours. I took 5 hours to take 265 questions (that's the maximum # of questions you CAN get on the nclex). *sigh* my results were not even borderline passing but everyone keeps telling me not to worry and that i will be fine. i did improve my score. i'm hoping the state board exam is not as hard as the kaplan tests...maybe? =\? 

i woke up at 4 am thinking of ADH--SIADH, DI, pituitary gland and all the other stupid things that i don't care about but need to know for this exam. i'm tired but can't sleep. i'm too worried. i'm trying not to think about it but i can't sleep so there's not much else to do at this time.  

i'm hungry. i don't know if i should eat now or wait until 7 am. hmmm. decisions decisions. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
i prayed.  i studied. i don't know what else to do.

i just got a zero out of 10 right on my last set of practice questions :(!!!!!!
 
 
 
 
 
 
i am so anti-internet shopping, especially for clothes because i can't trust sizes and the company, etc. but i saw this dress and had to buy it--that's pretty spontaneous of me. i guess since i know i have a free vacation i knew i could afford this dress. do you like it? i am hoping the dress side doesn't come down low. like that it is high up sitting right underneath the armpit. know what i mean? the website only had a pic of front and back. i hope i don't regret this.Social
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
one more and i'll stop =)Collapse )
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
60 things you may have not known about meCollapse )